me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
