But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
