you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Vodka?
Forever.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
