K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
