it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
