How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
