if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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