Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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