Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
