Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it's great music for shaving your balls
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
