PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Randomize
