I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
