been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
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Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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