They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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