If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
