What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
