I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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