so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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