Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
