im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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