They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My vagina is very pro this idea
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