After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
