Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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