I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
