Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
