Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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