Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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