You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
