Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
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i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
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I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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