I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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