Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
