I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
