drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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