And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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