Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
