Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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