my vag is so smooth its legendary
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
