Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....

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(269): View more from Michigan

So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!

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(607): View more from New York

I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated

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(917): View more from New York City

Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

(347): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

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(703): View more from Virginia

This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard

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(843): View more from South Carolina

It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!

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