Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
