At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
