So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is it because I queefed?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
