Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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