There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
