Its about making memories worth repressing
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she pinky promised me she was 18
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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