I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
