I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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