TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
