so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
