your parents love me but you hate me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
