batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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