i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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