I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
