I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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