No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
