I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
