He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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