I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
