Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
