this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
