That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I want is dick and wine.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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