The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
