I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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