I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
