There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
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Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
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I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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